Kudos to the Democrats in Congress who caved yesterday to the will of President Bush and voted in favor of the new wiretapping law that provides immunity to the telecommunication companies that helped the Bush Administration spy on Americans without a warrant. You see, I've come around and I understand now that the only way for our government to keep us safe is to simply break the Constitution. Terrorists are everywhere (probably even a couple working right here in Bay View), and we simply cannot wait for the Bush Administration to follow the law in order to protect us. Even through the FISA court was set up for this exact purpose, it simply was not enough. the Bush Administration HAD to spy on Americans without a warrant, because it is the only way to protect us from the Islamofascists who are jealous of our freedom and our love of romantic comedies starring Ben Affleck.
That being said, there are a number of bills coming up for vote right now that we absolutely MUST see pass. These bills are crucial in the war on terror and we simply cannot be safe without them:
1. Vote to "out" CIA agents who disagree with the president. If there's one thing that we've learned time and time again with the Bush Administration, it's that cronyism works. The more loyal underlings are to their leader, the more we can simply get done.
2. Eliminate the "right to bear arms." Spying without a warrant is crucial, and so is severely restricting gun rights. After all, we can't have would-be terrorists simply walking into gun shops buying guns, right? The Bush Administration must make it illegal for Americans to own guns. Don't worry--they've got all of our phone lines tapped to keep us safe.
3. Make it illegal to criticize the president. After the Dixie Chicks are officially charged with this crime, it's time to start going after all those anti-war advocates who are obviously emboldening the enemy. Free Speech shouldn't be free.
4. Declare war on Iran. We need to nip this one in the bud. We can simply take soldiers out of Afghanistan and Iraq, because both of those missions have been accomplished. The "surge" worked great, and the Iraqi government is finally getting a lot of things done--last week, almost ALL of them showed up to vote on a crucial bill providing no-bid contracts to foreign oil companies. Don't believe what the liberal media says--the Taliban are NOT regrouping in Afghanistan. This is a lie spread by the liberal media to undermine our freedom!
5. Pass the "Torture as many people as possible act." This bill is essential to the war on terror. There's no better way to suppress anti-American sentiment than by capturing as many Arabs as possible and torturing them into admitting they're terrorists. Really ... waterboarding isn't torture--it's just a dunk of water! And we absolutely cannot allow these "enemy combatants" to have access to any evidence against them, or anything resembling a court system. They aren't traditional POW's, which means they don't have any rights under the Geneva Conventions, and so what if only a few have been charged. And so what if hundreds more have been set free after being tortured ... They're still guilty!
God bless our country, and remember: The terrorists will kill you if you don't sacrifice your Constitutional rights to President Bush.
Ken Brosky
The terrorists are everywhere, and they're probably going to kill you soon. That is, only if we don't continue to provide
