Well, I’m back and ready to give this blogging thing another
try- my computer has been behaving itself lately so hopefully this will make it
all the way to publication.
Remember when I said that I felt I needed something
different in my life? Well, I think I
have found a new career, if only it existed…
At my current job, I spend the majority of my day driving
around all parts of the city, conducting environmental inspections and
investigating complaints. This takes me
to all parts of the city- good and bad.
I’ve pretty much seen it all- fires, car accidents, bad driving,
arrests, wandering dogs, weird weather phenomenon, and even wierder people. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen
someone do something and said to myself, “What is it with people?” Or,
“Where is a cop when you need one?”
Hence my new career- I want to be the “Hey, Stupid!”
police. That’s right- give me a gold
star and a book of tickets and set me loose on the city. I will gladly cite the people I come across
for doing a variety of stupid things.
For example:
Children not in a car seat-
who clearly should be. This
drives me nuts- I know these people know better. BAM!
That person would get a “Hey Stupid” ticket so fast their head would
spin. Come back in a week and show me
that you have a seat and are actually using it or I’ll find you and give you
another ticket.
Teenagers slowly meandering across the street, purposely
forcing traffic to stop, even with a green light- BAM! And pull up your pants or I’ll give you
another ticket just for looking stupid.
People who stand in the middle of the street, looking to see
if the bus is coming- get out of the street, you idiot! You’re already at the bus stop, and you won’t
get the bus there any quicker by risking your life to wander out into the
middle of the road. BAM! Now go sit down…
Obnoxious cell phone users- BAM! Texting while driving- BAM! Tailgating me so closely that I cannot see
your headlights- BAM!
Litterbugs, cigarette smokers who toss their cigarettes on
the ground, BAM, BAM! (I’m having way
too much fun here!)
Everywhere I go, BAM, BAM, BAM! I'm gonna need at least 2 ticket books...
Who wants to join me?
