In today's economy you must be carefull. You must research all of your investments. You must safeguard your hard earned cash. This advice is a sure fire way to make informed investment decisions.
A close friend, Paul (his last name will not be revealed for employment reasons) has not lost one penny of his investments this past year. He gave me these tips over the weekend. I would suggest you look them over and decide if they are right for you.
Grab a pen and paper, you will want to write them down and carry them in your pocket. Please, share them with your family and friends. They will thank you for the free advice.
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Helium was up.
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Feathers were down.
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Paper was stationary.
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Pencils lost a few points.
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Hiking equipment was trailing.
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Elevators rose.
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While escalators continued their slow decline.
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Weights were up in heavy trading.
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Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
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Balloon prices were inflated.
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The market for raisins dried up.
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Coke fizzled.
- And Scott tissue touched a new bottom.
Now call your broker, share this info with him or her and invest some of that hard earned cash and let me know if this advice made your investment decisions easier in todays economy. 
