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By Don Boots Jensen
Friday, Apr 10 2009, 08:12 AM
Acting on an anonymous tip, police raided a well known Bay View tavern late last night. The tipster stated women, covered in whipped cream, would be dancing at a stag party. The women, for a small fee, would allegedly allow the male patrons to lick the whipped cream from their bodies.
Undercover officers entered the tavern and observed several male patrons performing the act of licking whipped cream from two whipped cream covered dancers. A police spokesperson stated the officers watched for about one hour. During that time, all of the male patrons engaged in licking the dancers. When it was the officers turn to lick, they identified themselves as officers and the party was shut down.
Fifteen persons received citations for disorderly conduct. The tavern owner and bartender were not cited. When asked why, the police spokesperson stated they had liquor licenses and therefore could not be cited.
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By Don Boots Jensen
Friday, Apr 3 2009, 08:04 AM
A hobo comes up to the front door of a neat looking farmhouse and raps gently on the door. When the farm owner answers, the hobo asks him, 'Please, sir, could you give me something to eat? I haven't had a good meal in several days.'
The owner says, 'I have made a fortune in my lifetime by supplying goods for people. I've never given anything away for nothing. However, if you go around the back, you will see a gallon of paint and a clean paint brush. If you will paint my porch, I will give you a good meal.'
So the hobo goes around back and a while later he again knocks on the door. The owner says, 'Finished already? Good. Come on in. Sit down. The cook will bring your meal right in.'
The hobo says, 'Thank you very much, sir. But there's something that I think you should know. It's not a Porsche you got there. It's a BMW.'
Enjoy your weekend.
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By Don Boots Jensen
Sunday, Mar 15 2009, 05:31 PM
In today's economy you must be carefull. You must research all of your investments. You must safeguard your hard earned cash. This advice is a sure fire way to make informed investment decisions.
A close friend, Paul (his last name will not be revealed for employment reasons) has not lost one penny of his investments this past year. He gave me these tips over the weekend. I would suggest you look them over and decide if they are right for you.
Grab a pen and paper, you will want to write them down and carry them in your pocket. Please, share them with your family and friends. They will thank you for the free advice.
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Helium was up.
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Feathers were down.
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Paper was stationary.
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Pencils lost a few points.
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Hiking equipment was trailing.
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Elevators rose.
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While escalators continued their slow decline.
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Weights were up in heavy trading.
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Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
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Balloon prices were inflated.
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The market for raisins dried up.
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Coke fizzled.
- And Scott tissue touched a new bottom.
Now call your broker, share this info with him or her and invest some of that hard earned cash and let me know if this advice made your investment decisions easier in todays economy.
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By Don Boots Jensen
Saturday, Mar 14 2009, 06:03 PM
So what exactly are polarioids?
After extensive research on the matter I have come to this conclusion.
Polaroids are what you get when you sit on the ice too long!
Come on spring!
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By Don Boots Jensen
Friday, Mar 13 2009, 11:42 AM
PARENT - Job Description
POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging,
permanent work in an
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
No Retirement plan.
Received this from a friend. Thought everyone would enjoy it.
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By Don Boots Jensen
Thursday, Feb 12 2009, 12:43 PM
If you agree, copy and and send off to the Honorable Gwen Moore
The Honorable Gwen Moore
House of Representatives
1239 Longworth House Office Building
Washington, DC 20515-4904 |
| Re: Support HR 917 To Provide Health Care to Surviving Spouses |
| Dear Representative Moore: |
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Spouses of service members killed in combat or who later die because of combat injuries would receive free lifetime military health care under a bill introduced by Representative Brett Guthrie (KY) on February 9.
Under current law, the surviving spouse of those killed in combat continues to receive active duty health care benefits for three years. After that time limit, the spouse continues to have coverage but is charged the same fees and co-pays as retirees. Dependent children receive free health care until age 21, or age 23 if they are full time college students and remain unmarried.HR 917 only applies to the surviving spouse. The current rules remain unchanged for dependent children.
Please do the right thing and cosponsor HR 917. Urge your colleagues to do the same. |
| Respectfully, |
Don P Jensen
Sergeant USMC 73-79 |
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By Don Boots Jensen
Thursday, Jan 15 2009, 05:11 PM
Dear Mr. President: My name is Melissa and I need your help.
I am a young woman trying to make ends meet in today’s tough economic climate. I have some bills that need to be paid. I fell behind in some of my bills. I made a choice, food and shelter or be cold and hungry. I choose to eat and be warm.
I fell behind on some of my bills and incurred about $1,500.00 in debt. A few creditors are calling for the money. I try the best I can to make payments but at times; I cannot make all the payments.
Mr. President, I have been following the economic bailout you provided to multimillion-dollar companies and banks. Bank and big corporation CEO’s are still getting their multimillion dollar salaries and the companies getting millions of dollars to stay in business, all financed by tax payers dollars.
I would like to know if I could get just $1,500 of that money to help bailout me out of my financial crises. I look forward to your reply.
Respectfully,
Melissa THE PRESIDENTS RESPONSE
Ms. Melissa:
I received your letter and read it carefully. I gave allot of thought to how things were when I was young. Let me explain and make a few suggestions.
While it is true we are bailing out companies in tough financial circumstances, we did it to help stabilize the economy. Yes, the companies CEO still get their salaries and do so to maintain the lifestyle they are used to.
Unfortunately, there is no money left for you or any other person in your situation. That money was earmarked for large businesses that made poor business decisions, not the common folk trying to make a go of it.
Perhaps you could try to see if someone in your family can loan you some money. Perhaps you could get help from a retired grand parent on a fixed income. Alternatively, your parents or a title loan company may be of assistance.
There are many companies out their willing to help bail you out in your economic crises. Unlike the government, no strings attached loan program, others may have some strings attached to make sure you pay them back. That is business.
Sorry I could not help you but maybe my suggestions will help lighten the load for you.
Sincerely,
The President
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By Don Boots Jensen
Friday, Dec 26 2008, 11:35 PM
Differences between Grandfathers and Grandmothers
A friend, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort with his family on the weekends.
Every Sunday morning he would take his 7-year old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some bonding time. Just he and his granddaughter.
One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold and really didn't feel like being up at all. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter out.
When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather. 'Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?'
'Oh yes, PaPa' the girl replied, 'and do you know what? We didn't see a single idiot or knucklehead anywhere we went today!'
All joking aside - drive careful - the roads are nasty and there are plenty of the aforementioned drivers out there.
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By Don Boots Jensen
Sunday, Dec 21 2008, 04:11 PM
Merry Christmas from our home to yours
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just click on song…
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Fabulous 50’s
Christmas Songs
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By Don Boots Jensen
Wednesday, Nov 26 2008, 03:46 PM
Peacemaking is not . . . appeasement. Always giving in, acting like a doormat, and allowing others to always run over you is not what Jesus had in mind. He refused to back down on many issues, standing his ground in the face of evil opposition.
It worked for him, it can work for you.
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By Don Boots Jensen
Monday, Nov 17 2008, 05:48 PM
When doing your Christmas cards this year, take one card and send it to this address. If we pass this on and everyone sends one card, think of how many cards these wonderful special people who have sacrificed so much would get.
When you are making out your Christmas card list this year, please include the following:
Holiday Mail for Heroes
PO Box 5456
Capitol Heights, MD 20791-5456
For mailing of packages to the troops please refer to the below opportunity:
Care packages are being mailed by Mission Harvest America, Inc. MHA has networked with our FLWG and SER Military Support Project for the past ten years. Combined with what they do and the effort from our CAP personnel over 59,800 care packages have been sent to deployed troops.
If you would like to assist you can do the following:
a. Send cards made out to "A serviceman or A servicewoman" and mail to MHA at the address below. The cards will be included in packages sent to the troops.
b. Provide SAM's, BJ or Walmart gift cards so that items can be purchased from those sources for items to be included in the package. The primary items will be snacks and goodies for the holidays.
c. Provide names of your family, friends or those who know who are deployed so MHA can mail a Holiday Package to them.
d.. Donate funds to help defray the cost of preparing and mailing a package to a deployed service person. The postage per package is $9.95 Flat Rate Priority Mail. The contents average cost is $15.00. Each package is designed for ten troops to share.
Mission Harvest America, Inc.
69 Copeland Street
Jacksonville, FL 32204
Donations to MHA will receive a tax deductible receipt. Credit card donations can be made by calling 904-356-9006 and stating you wish to make a credit card donation to support the troops. Mastercard, Visa and Discover accepted.
For more information or to assist in this project please email missionharvest@att.net.
Remember, it is okay to say "Merry Christmas!"
Please pass this message along. Thanks.
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By Don Boots Jensen
Tuesday, Nov 11 2008, 05:13 PM
The city is now accepting proposals for what will be the first residential development in the state of Wisconsin fully powered by renewable energy sources, Ald. Tony Zielinski said today. The Net Zero Energy project in Bay View, located on the former U.S. Army Reserve site at 2372 S. Logan Ave., encompasses an entire two-block area within walking distance of the Bay View/S. Kinnickinnic Ave. business district, and with easy access to Lake Michigan and downtown.
Alderman Zielinski said the future residential units at the site will most likely be powered entirely by solar energy and wind power. "This will be a catalytic project showing that homes can be powered by solar, wind, and even geo-thermal energy sources, emitting zero green house gases," the alderman said.
"We think this location is beneficial because it is likely that Bay View residents will quickly see the benefits of 100% renewable energy and will choose to use it to power their own homes and businesses," said Alderman Zielinski, a member of the Common Council’s Zoning, Neighborhoods and Development Committee.
According to the Department of City Development’s RFP, development proposals for the site must be net zero energy, meaning that the amount of energy created on-site through renewable energy resources annually is equal to or greater than the amount of energy consumed annually. In addition, a high level of sustainable building elements and energy-efficient practices is required
One major incentive for potential developers is help defraying costs.
In fact, according to Alderman Zielinski, Congress has approved a 30% solar tax credit with no cap for both single-family and multi-family homes, and Focus On Energy offers an additional 25% rebate to eligible renewable energy residential projects in Wisconsin.
Using 100% renewable energy (and not fossil fuels) helps create jobs in the U.S. and locally, according to Alderman Zielinski, as local workers are hired to manufacture and install the energy systems for the residences. "Milwaukeeans will benefit ultimately because they’ll see the initial wave of ‘green sector’ jobs and business growth that’s expected to take place during the next few years, and we’ll all benefit as well by the reduction in greenhouse gas emissions," he said.
"And instead of cutting a check to the energy company every month, owners of 100% renewable energy homes will actually receive a check from the energy company as it looks to invest in these important new energy sources," he said.
Proposals must be submitted by January 17, 2009. To learn more about the project please go to www.mkedcd.org/realestate/ArmyReserveSite/Main.html
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By Don Boots Jensen
Saturday, Nov 8 2008, 07:51 AM
Capitol Democrats, you just got what you wished for. Are you still sure it's what you want?
For at least two years, you'll have to run state government - and it's in a deep financial hole.
Tuesday's victories by Democrats mean that Democratic Gov. Jim Doyle will have 70 partners - the 18 Democrats who will run the Senate and the 52 Assembly Democrats - in crafting the next two-year budget. That won't be easy because Doyle has said that budget faces a deficit of more than $3 billion.
The 2009-'10 budget that Doyle must recommend early next year will be his hardest, for several reasons. It's the last budget before he is expected to seek a third term in 2010. The current budget had $750 million in tax and fee increases, which raised taxes on cigarettes and license plate renewals. Accounting tricks used by both parties over the past eight years are no longer available. Long-term debt has risen dramatically, raising questions about how much more debt the state can handle.
"This is going to be a very difficult time," Doyle said.
Rep. Mark Pocan (D-Madison) said Democrats would quickly pass bills to increase job training, boost spending on green energy, require businesses to more publicly disclose their tax liabilities and bar the state from contracting with companies that ship jobs overseas.
"Our number one thing we want to do is get in there and work on the economy and jobs and the cost of living," Pocan said. "And when working on the (state) budget, we're going to do it with working families and the middle class first and foremost in mind, and not the special interests."
Republican Sen. Ted Kanavas of Brookfield said Thursday that Republicans know they won't be able to pass anything in the next legislative session, but they can be advocates for taxpayers.
"We can't lead, but we can point out" problems in the choices Democrats make, Kanavas said.
The issues ahead:
Smoking ban. Doyle has pushed for a smoking ban in public places but was thwarted by Republicans and members of his party. After Tuesday, he said: "We're in a lot better shape."
Health care reform. Doyle and legislative leaders must find changes that don't include the so-called Healthy Wisconsin universal coverage plan that Senate Democrats passed last year. Barack Obama's election as president "takes the pressure off" for Healthy Wisconsin, Doyle said. Instead, he may again push an expanded state pool for health care insurance.
Insurance for childhood autism. When Doyle finally signed the overdue state budget in October 2007, he said the most important change left out was mandating insurance coverage to treat childhood autism. Doyle said this is a top goal for 2009.
Health insurance for domestic partners. For years, Republicans blocked changes that would allow domestic partners of state workers to get health care through state-provided plans. There will be a new push for that benefit, especially since the University of Wisconsin System is the only Big Ten school that does not offer it.
Drunken driving. Lawmakers will consider whether to toughen penalties for drunken drivers, including granting prosecutors the power to charge third offenses as felonies. Current law says a fifth violation can be prosecuted as a felony. Also planned are moves to let judges require more ignition interlocks on vehicles owned by drunken drivers and to legalize roadside sobriety checkpoints.
Taxes on businesses. Senate Democratic leaders say businesses widely use tax loopholes, so they want to tax the profits of parent companies and end the current system that taxes corporate subsidiaries separately. That would amount to an $80 million annual tax increase on Wisconsin businesses. Also pending is a plan to adopt national standards on what should be subject to the 5% sales tax.
Limits on teacher pay and school finance. In his three budgets, Doyle has asked for repeal of the "qualified economic offer" that limits pay and benefit increases for teachers to 3.8% a year. But tied to that is a push to overhaul the school finance system, which rural districts and Milwaukee school officials say is broken. They want to end spending limits, saying they have forced them to lay off teachers and to end language and math programs. But these changes could raise property taxes.
Campaign-finance reform. Democratic legislators have called for changes to diminish the role of cash in Capitol campaigns, and they likely will push requirements that all groups that run political ads disclose where they get their money. Some want to go further, but they will face opposition. A compromise may involve making changes that affect state Supreme Court races, but not gubernatorial and legislative contests. Whatever is adopted likely would face a court challenge on First Amendment grounds.
By Steven Walters And Patrick Marley
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By Don Boots Jensen
Friday, Nov 7 2008, 11:48 AM
By Don Boots Jensen
Monday, Nov 3 2008, 07:07 PM
When you think about a problem over and over in your mind, that's called worry.
When you think about God's Word over and over in your mind, that's meditation.
If you know how to worry, you already know how to meditate!
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By Don Boots Jensen
Saturday, Jul 26 2008, 01:40 PM
While On a recent trip to Glacier National Park I came across this article written by an unknown person in Tioga, ND. Sound familiar?
”Classical Version: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold. Modern Version: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
BBC, CNN, NDTV show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. The world is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
The ACLU organizes a demonstration in front of the ant’s house. Amnesty International and the U.N. criticize the Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the grasshopper. Opposition MP’s stage a walkout. Left parties call for ‘Justice for the Poor’ and demand Judicial Enquiry.Finally the Judicial Committee drafts the prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of winter.
The ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA, and having nothing left to pay his retroactive fines, his home is confiscated by the government and handed over to the grasshopper in a ceremony covered by BBC, CNN, and NDTV. The ACLU spokesman calls it a “triumph of justice.” Koffi Annan invites the grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly, marking a victory for the rights of the poor and oppressed.” Sound familiar?
Bet you never thought about it that way before – but you will now! Boots
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By Don Boots Jensen
Friday, Mar 21 2008, 04:47 PM
Easter Cookies . . .
To be made the evening before Easter with Your Kids
You need:
1 cup whole pecans
1 tsp. Vinegar
3 egg whites
Pinch salt
1 cup sugar
Zipper baggie
Wooden spoon
Tape
Bible
Preheat oven to 300 degrees right NOW (don't wait until you're half done with the recipe!)
Place pecans in zipper baggie and let children beat them with the wooden spoon to break into small pieces. Explain that after Jesus was arrested, He was beaten by the Roman soldiers.
Read John 19:1-3.
Let each child smell the vinegar. Put 1 tsp. Vinegar into mixing bowl. Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross, He was given vinegar to drink. Read John 19:28-30.
Add egg whites to vinegar. Eggs represent life. Explain that Jesus gave His life to give us life.
Read John 10:10-11.
Sprinkle a little salt into each child's hand. Let them taste it and brush the rest into the bowl. Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus' followers, and the bitterness of our own sin.
Read Luke 23:27.
So far, the ingredients are not very appetizing. Add 1cup sugar. Explain that the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because He loves us. He wants us to know and belong to Him.
Read Psalms 34:8 and John 3:16.
Beat with a mixer on high speed for 12 to 15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed. Explain that the color white represents the purity in God's eyes of those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus.
Read Isaiah 1:18 and John 3:1-3.
Fold in broken nuts. Drop by teaspoons onto wax paper covered cookie sheet. Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus' body was laid. Read Matt. 27:57-60.
Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door and turn the oven OFF. Then say a prayer for the person who sent you this recipe, and to all of those that you share it with – God bless you all!
Give each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door. Explain that Jesus' tomb was sealed.
Read Matt. 27:65-66.
GO TO BED! Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight. Jesus' followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed. Read John 16:20 and 22.
On Easter morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie. Notice the cracked surface and take a bite. The cookies are hollow! On the first Easter, Jesus' followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty. Read Matt. 28:1-9
A special thanks to my friends Pam & Ed Kaleva, Ft Morgan CO. for this recipe. Happy Easter - enjoy!
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By Don Boots Jensen
Tuesday, Mar 4 2008, 06:14 PM
This event could save your life.
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By Don Boots Jensen
Wednesday, Feb 20 2008, 04:14 AM
I appreciate the comments made by each person who took the time to express themselves concerning the statement made about Senator Obama. (Why support Barack Obama)
I suppose like responses from those supporting Senator McCain would be given if I had written "Why support McCain he is too old." Or how about this one, "Why support Monica Lewinsky’s boyfriends wife."
All are general statements made to invoke reaction(s) and many of you reacted in a rather predicable fashion. I, for one, was glad to see people rally to support their candidate. It showed compassion for that which you as individuals believe in. It showed that you as Americans are entitled to your opinions and was willing to go out on a limb and publically state how you felt about the generalized statement.
Stand up, be heard, and vote. That is the real issue. I am proud to be an American and to be able vote for the candidate of my choice.
Aren’t you?
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By Don Boots Jensen
Sunday, Feb 17 2008, 08:37 PM
A picture is worth a thousand words. Enough said?
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