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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Aug 17 2008, 09:22 PM
When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
My wife, Jennifer told the waitress at Elvis Presley’s Memphis Restaurant she wanted the fried peanut butter and banana sandwich. Jennifer paired it with a chardonnay. That combo is not our culinary no-no, but if you ask a Frenchman, he might have a different opinion.
The Beale Street restaurant closed and is now the site of the EP Delta Kitchen and Bar.
The EP Delta Kitchen and Bar does not have one of the King’s favorites, the fried peanut butter and banana sandwich on its menu, and no, that’s NOT our culinary no-no, but it certainly could be. I mean, c’mon.
This past week was ELVIS WEEK. Thousands of Elvis fans make the sacred sojourn to Memphis to commemorate the anniversary of the King of Rock and Roll’s death, August 16, 1977. So it’s only fitting this week’s culinary no-no focus on this sandwich Elvis made famous.
The fact is there’s nothing wrong with a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich from a purely appetizing standpoint. If we’re talking healthy, file under culinary nightmare. A recipe for the sandwich submitted to the Chicago Sun-Times has the following nutrition information:
Nutrition facts per serving: 486 calories, 31 g fat, 11 g saturated fat, 33 mg cholesterol, 45 g carbohydrates, 13 g protein, 546 mg sodium, 4 g fiber
Imagine the flaming dessert Bananas Foster. You’ve got those bananas swimming in butter and brown sugar and cinnamon and vanilla ice cream and rum. If you toss in some Skippy’s, I certainly wouldn’t complain. Fried peanut butter and bananas………..yeh, I could see it at Kopp’s next August.
It’s when you start messing with or experimenting with other alterations to the peanut butter sandwich formula that the red flag goes up.
The Peanut Butter & Co. Sandwich Shop in the heart of Greenwich Village has some rather different variations of the popular peanut butter on white:
Menu
Flavored Peanut Butter Sandwiches
The Heat Is On™ Sandwich”
Spicy Peanut Butter and chilled grilled chicken, with a little bit of pineapple jam. Like a Thai satay - only better.
Cinnamon Raisin Swirl™ Sandwich
Cinnamon-Raisin Peanut Butter and vanilla cream cheese, stuffed with crisp apple slices. Cr-runch!
White Chocolate Wonderful™ Sandwich
White Chocolate Peanut Butter and orange marmalade. Like a peanutty creamsicle.
Dark Chocolate Dreams™ Sandwich
Chocolate Peanut Butter and cherry jam, stuffed with shredded coconut. It's peanut butter meets black forest cake.
John Dreyer of the Christian Science Monitor discovered people who admitted to eating peanut butter and mayo, peanut butter and fried eggs, peanut butter, bacon, and honey on toast, peanut butter and pickle sandwiches, peanut butter and bologna, fruit and yogurt peanut butter sandwiches, and peanut butter and kimchi (the Korean pickled vegetable dish).
And people say Elvis was strange?
Here's another odd one for you. They serve it at Mo's in, where else, Burbank, California. Click here, scroll down the menu to the Burger section and read the description for Foggybottom Burger.
Suddenly the fried peanut butter and banana sandwich sounds pretty tasty. And it's fairy easy to make.
Don't be cruel. Don't disrespect the fried peanut butter and banana sandwich. And by all means, no peanut butter and mayo or bologna in the kids' lunches when they head back to school!
To read previous Culinary no-no’s, please click CULINARY NO-NO under my TAGS section.
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Aug 10 2008, 10:30 PM
My wife and I last night dined at Tenuta’s in Bay View.
I ordered a veal chop. Nowadays, you never know what my wife will select.
She decided on a 12-ich pizza with:
A garlic and olive oil sauce
Artichoke hearts
Plum tomatoes
Spinach
Mozzarella
WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG
OK, I know we're talkin' pizza, not burgers, but where's the meat?????? Jennifer's pizza is still 100 gazillion times better than the pizza from Nino's Bellisima in New York. You cannot order by the slice, you have to buy the whole pie. You must order well in advance. And it costs $1,000.Watch.>
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I don't care how much caviar and/or lobster they put on that pie. $1000??????????????? WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Aug 10 2008, 06:30 PM
Back in April, Culinary no-no # 52 examined how the biofuels craze and the subsequent rise in food prices was impacting world hunger.
Dirt cookies made out of mud. Looting. Rioting.
And it’s getting worse.
Poor women in many parts of the world are trading sex for food, increasing the risk of new AIDS infections. Officials of the United Nations (UN) made that startling announcement at a conference in Mexico last week.
The UN points the finger at biofuels, claiming more expensive food prices have resulted in another 50 million people going hungry. Women are so desperate they’re joining the crews of large fishing boats, selling their bodies for scraps. Officials fear an explosion in new AIDS cases. Those on the front lines grapple with how to combat hunger and AIDS.
Read more from ABC.
As the mountain of evidence suggesting links to biofuels, higher food prices, and a global food crisis continues to grow, a correlation that most Americans fully understand, we can count on our government bureaucrats to turn a deaf ear to this critical issue.
Last week, the Environmental Protection Association refused to reduce the quota on ethanol in cars. The New York Times described the EPA’s conclusion that, “at least for now, the national goal of reducing oil use trumps any effect on food prices from making fuel from corn.”
The newspaper quoted a typical bureaucrat, completely bankrupt of nay common sense. EPA administrator Stephen L. Johnson demonstrated his head-in-the -sand mentality when he said the ethanol mandate was not causing “severe harm to the economy or the environment.”
What planet is he on?
Food producers disagree, saying food inflation is bad enough but could get worse.
This is very revealing. The feds don’t care that your trip to the grocery to feed your family is becoming increasingly more difficult or that people around the world are starving. They care more about cramming our food into our gas tanks.
The federal government’s refusal to relax the quota and mandates on ethanol and the inability to understand the ramifications of those inactions is a culinary no-no of global proportions.
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Aug 3 2008, 09:30 AM
Despite efforts in Beijing to clean up its act, all indications are the Summer Olympic Games will be a culinary catastrophe.
A positive menu move was made a few weeks ago. Even so, if I were attending the Olympic Games that begin this week, I’d be leery of some of the local offerings. And this is coming from a guy who eats anything, isn’t picky, and fully understands the theory that a hungry tourist needs to be adventurous and dine as and where the locals do for an enjoyable, exciting experience.
Here’s something I wouldn’t expect to read in Gourmet Magazine. Remember, that’s Gourmet Magazine.
The headline teasing one of this month’s articles tells me that I can dine “exquisitely” in restaurants in the city hosting the Summer Olympics. I don’t doubt that, especially if I stay away from duck’s feet, steamed crap and burnt lion’s head.
The same headline then does an about face and informs me there’s a better alternative.
Prime rib in Beijing??!!
Hardly.
Gourmet Magazine….did I mention the title? GOURMET Magazine says I need to hit one of the outside vendors some evening and sample the wonder of what GOURMET Magazine calls, “A Banquet of Bugs.”
Writer Stephen Henderson recounts how one vendor in a rather unusual manner enticed him to stop and check out his bill of fare (You’ll find out when I link to the article).
There, Henderson of GOURMET Magazine discovered, “deep-fried centipedes, crickets, grasshoppers, scorpions, silkworms, and starfish. Most of these snacks were neatly arranged kebab-style, on wooden skewers.”
Henderson writes he could feel the little legs tickling his lips as he ate a centipede kebab. He refers to this and other odd dining experiences as broadening the palate and even quotes an “expert” who contends that eating insects, here we go………… will save the planet.
Sorry, Gourmet Magazine. Your arguments just aren’t persuasive enough.
Please pass the crisp Peking duck.
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By Kevin Fischer
Thursday, Jul 31 2008, 09:12 PM
Though it usually comes at the end, I will start with the moral of this story:
Be nice to your waiter.
Culinary no-no #45 dealt with respecting the wait staff at restaurants. We heard from Phoebe Damrosch who has written a book about her experience waiting tables at Thomas Keller’s four-star New York City restaurant, Per Se.
Another book told from the perspective of a waiter is out, only this time, the waiter is out for revenge. Steve Dublanica is the author of, “Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip--Confessions of a Cynical Waiter.”
Read an excerpt from his book and also watch a video of his appearance on the Today Show here. Here's a book review from the Wall Street Journal.
Chances are you’ll have second thoughts the next time you’re thinking about being rude to your server.
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Jul 27 2008, 08:00 PM
When you think of Hawaii, what comes to mind?
Focus, people, focus. This is a food blog.
Of course, you think of...
The pineapple has a long and rich history in our 50th state.
James Drummond Dole traveled to Hawaii in 1900 with $1,000, degrees in agriculture and business, and a dream of cultivating pineapples. He started growing them north of Oahu and, obviously, became very successful. Dole continues to grow and sell pineapple today and its visitor center on Oahu is a popular tourist destination.
But the pineapple presence in Hawaii isn’t what it once was. In 2006, Del Monte, which began its pineapple business in Hawaii in 1916, announced that it would put an end to its operations because it was no longer economically feasible to grow pineapple in Hawaii since it could be grown cheaper in other parts of the world.
A headline this weekend is enough to rattle a Hawaiian right down to his poi:
“Pineapple could vanish from Hawaii”
Maui Land & Pineapple Co. of Maui is planning huge layoffs and a massive cut in production. Expensive land and labor costs are taking their toll as the unthinkable has occurred: Hawaii having difficulty competing pineapple-wise with Mexico, Costa Rica, Ecuador and other countries.
Many Wisconsinites will be fuming to hear this bit of news. Hawaiian agricultural business would make up the slack in part by growing crops for the production of ethanol.
Pineapple hasn’t vanished completely from the Aloha state, but it’s disappearing at an alarming rate. To see American production of pineapple deteriorate is almost unconscionable. Hawaii without pineapple? Think Milwaukee without a brewery. Sad.
Read more from this weekend’s Honolulu Advertiser.
To read previous Culinary no-no’s, please click CULINARY NO-NO under my TAGS section.
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Jul 27 2008, 06:30 PM
One out of five people reading this post are overweight, terribly overweight. They’re obese.
The St. Vincent Health website (central Indiana) lists the following causes of obesity:
Genetics
Culture
Physical inactivity
Emotional or psychological factors
Gender
Age
High-fat / High Calorie diet
Medical problems
Nowhere in the list is this mentioned:
True, the Golden Arches serves a lot of items high in fat and calories. But is McDonald's to blame for a nation of bloated waistlines?
Two years ago, a study group at the University of Alabama at Birmingham suggested 10 new causes for obesity:
1. Sleep debt. Getting too little sleep can increase body weight. Today's Americans get less shut-eye than ever.
2. Pollution. Hormones control body weight. And many of today’s pollutants affect our hormones.
3. Air conditioning. You have to burn calories if your environment is too hot or too cold for comfort. But more people than ever live and work in temperature-controlled homes and offices.
4. Decreased smoking. Smoking reduces weight. Americans smoke much less than they used to.
5. Medicine. Many different drugs — including contraceptives, steroid hormones, diabetes drugs, some antidepressants, and blood pressure drugs — can cause weight gain. Use of these drugs is on the upswing.
6. Population age, ethnicity. Middle-aged people and Hispanic-Americans tend to be more obese than young European-Americans. Americans are getting older and more Hispanic.
7. Older moms. There's some evidence that the older a woman is when she gives birth, the higher her child's risk of obesity. American women are giving birth at older and older ages.
8. Ancestors' environment. Some influences may go back two generations. Environmental changes that made a grandparent obese may "through a fetally driven positive feedback loop" visit obesity on the grandchildren.
9. Obesity linked to fertility. There's some evidence obese people are more fertile than lean ones. If obesity has a genetic component, the percentage of obese people in the population should increase.
10. Unions of obese spouses. Obese women tend to marry obese men. If there are fewer thin people around — and if obesity has a genetic component — there will be still more obese people in the next generation.
They contend fast food and inactivity can lead to obesity, but are circumstantial factors often given too much attention as opposed to a host of other causes.
Regardless of medical research or common sense, liberal politicians know best. In the city of Los Angeles, the evil fast-food restaurants have been designated as the culprits for a certain section of the city being far too fat.
What’s the solution proposed by members of the city council? In essence, they want to ban “fast food restaurants,” placing a one-year moratorium on the opening of "any establishment which dispenses food for consumption on or off the premises, and which has the following characteristics: a limited menu, items prepared in advance or prepared or heated quickly, no table orders and food served in disposable wrapping or containers."
Approved by a council committee, the moratorium must still pass the full council and the mayor.
Councilman Jose Huizar has problems with the way “fast food restaurant” is defined. For example, what does a “limited menu” mean?
"McDonald's has been increasing the number of items on their menu, so at what point would they exceed that definition?" Huizar said.
The do-gooders in LA haven’t quite figured that out.
Some places, like Subway complained. Subway makes their sandwiches fresh with no heat lamps.
But the intent is clear based on the premise that the restaurants are the villains and that personal responsibility has nothing to do with the problem. So, let’s not build any more Burger King’s. Uhhh, but these political geniuses forget that the moratorium won’t stop those fatties in LA from still going to any of the thousands of fast food joints that are still up and running.
Not only is the idea anti-business, it’s downright foolish. Let’s blame everyone and everything except the individual with questionable personal behavior. It’s that large, evil, corporate giant that insists on mass producing two all-beef patties, lettuce, special sauce, pickles, and cheese on a sesame seed bun. Los Angeles will show ‘em. And then one year from now, when LA is even fatter, what brilliant plan will they come up with next?
Read more in the LA Times.
To read previous Culinary no-no’s, please click CULINARY NO-NO under my TAGS section.
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Jul 20 2008, 09:00 AM
In the broadcast business, it's called a "tease."
They are short promotional announcements designed to entice you to watch an upcoming program.
"WOMEN WHO HATE MEN, ON THE NEXT OPRAH!"
These teases can be extended to :30, packaged into an "update."
Hmmmm.
I think I've seen that guy before.
Teasing is also done in the print business. This old cover of "Cosmopolitan" is loaded with teases, the "grabbers" that get your attention in the supermarket line.
Just about every publication uses this promotional tool on its cover. On a recent bookstore visit, I picked up this magazine specifically because of a tease on the cover. Note the second of three teases underneath the magazine title:
"The burger that will change your life."
This, I thought, I gotta see. With a billing like that, this burger has to be the most scrumptious epicurean delight ever made by human hands, so good that it was actually the food of choice that Eve used to tempt Adam.
The tease-writer was successful, I was hooked.
Trembling with excitement, I flipped the pages past one recipe after another until I came upon the burger that would change my life.
When I worked in broadcasting 24/7, a rule of thumb I tried to live by, especially when “teasing” was that if you promised something, you’d better deliver. For example, if you told your audience you had the top ten ways to get your wife to mow the lawn, you better have not 7 or 8 or 9 but the whole shooting match. (By the way, I never really worked on that story but if anyone has the specifics, could you e-mail me, please?)
So, no National Inquirer-type promos, the kind that have people scoffing, “C’mon, that’s ridiculous!”
Gourmet Magazine almost had me drooling a la Pavlov’s dog. The article hyped on the front page was about an Aussie Burger, referred to by a Gourmet Magazine food editor as “the ultimate,” and “awesome.”
She wrote about the “amazing toppings.” This ultimate, awesome amazing burger that would change my life has eggs, pineapple rings, and mounds of pickled beets.
There in the bookstore, clutching Gourmet Magazine, not in complete and utter disappointment, I hearkened back to the wise words of another food expert, “Fonzie” in “Happy Days.”
Fonzie once said that ketchup and ice cream, when they’re apart are, well, AYYYYY, two thumbs up. But put them together? Thumbs down, baby.
Gourmet never truly makes the case why the Aussie Burger is a life-changing experience. Read the article that has a link to the recipe.
There are lots of ways to make a great burger. But it’s real easy to mess things up by overdoing in the hopes of building a quintessential masterpiece.
Wisconsin State Journal columnist last week wrote about a New York Times piece on how the French have embraced the hamburger.
Moe writes:
“According to the Times, one Paris restaurant makes its burger ‘with pine nuts and thyme mixed into the meat, ‘ then places it ‘on a toasted whole-wheat English muffin. ‘Another tops its burgers with ‘slabs of foie gras, ‘fattened livers of a duck or goose.Yet another includes both mayonnaise and mustard on the same burger -- and charges $56. The problem is summed up in this quote from one Paris chef: ‘The burger has become gastronomic.’ The next thing you know, they’ll use a knife and fork, and in fact many Parisians do when confronted with a burger.”
In his column, Moe writes about a GQ Magazine article from 2005, "The 20 Hamburgers You Must Eat Before You Die."
One of their suggestions does look very appetizing, if not life-changing, the Rouge Burger from the Rouge in Philadelphia. Here it is:
Good meat, slathered in cheese, a toasted bun, some sides like tomato and lettuce. How can you go wrong? Imagine you're having a backyard cookout, you invite lots of friends over, and you're grilling burgers. For a great party, you make sure you've got cheese, onions, pickles, ketchup, mustard, mayo, etc. so your guests have plenty of choices to make a great burger. You don't need pickled beets and pineapple rings and brussels sprouts. Of course not. Classic burgers with classic combinations.
But is that really good enough?
Not if you ask chef Nancy Silverton, the co-founder of Campanile restaurant and La Brea Bakery in Los Angeles. When you find out how she throws a burger cookout, you're going to feel mighty inadequate.
The LA Times tagged along at one of Silverton’s soirees to carefully observe how an expert prepares what she considers the perfect burger.
Silverton lights her barbecue pit at 8:00 a.m. with a fire made from almond wood (Kingsford doesn’t make that stuff, do they?). When her guests arrive in the middle of the day, the toppings are ready and buns are sliced.
The bun. No fancy, schmancy 12-grain deal. Pita bread? Are you crazy? Just the time-honored, soft variety.
The key is the ratio of bun to meat. It has to be 50-50 so you can avoid…..
The toppings must be traditional…no foie-gras!
Ketchup is good. But is that good enough?
No, Silverton insists on Heinz ketchup.
Mayo, you’ve got to have mayo, but is having mayo good enough?
Best Foods Mayo if you’re in the western part of the country, Hellman’s in our neck of the woods.
Ok, you’ve got the Hellman’s. Is that good enough?
Nope.
Silverton likes to serve the mayo three ways: plain, mixed up with chiles and a third with garlic and tapenade.
Mustard? Are you kidding me? Gotta have mustard….Dijon mustard. Is that good enough?
Well……no.
You must have two types of Dijon, plain and whole grain.
Lettuce…..there must be lettuce. Will any lettuce do?
Umm, no.
It must be iceberg, one crisp leaf per person.
Onions. God, I love onions on a burger. Silverton advises one full slice of red onion per person.
Ok, I can handle that. Red onions. Is that good enough? One slice of red onion per person?
You’ve detected a pattern here, haven’t you..
NO, that’s not good enough silly! You have to salt and pepper the onions.
Make sure there’s the Mezzetta brand of Tuscan Pepperoncini as well.
Did we forget anything?
Yeh, we did.
Tomatoes. Brandywines, Russians, Beefsteak.
Silverton includes avocados with her toppings, recommending they be sliced thickly.
Bacon. Oh, yes! Applewood-smoked and not crispy. Is that good enough? I don’t let the bacon get crispy. Check.
No. Two pieces of bacon per guest (because people snitch).
If you’re not yelling at the computer screen by now, you should be.
CHEESE, WE MUST HAVE CHEESE!
I’ll just serve good ol’ American and that’ll be okay, right?
Negative!
Three cheeses if you pleases: blue, cheddar and Gruyere.
Any brand?
No.
Point Reyes blue, Grafton cheddar and cave-aged Gruyere.
OK, you’ve hunted and searched for all three. Is that good enough, chef Silverton?
No.
Crumble the blue. Ditto for the cheddar. Sprinkle the crumbles and delight as they ooze and melt.
Do you crumble the Gruyere, too?
Are you from Wisconsin or not?
No you don’t crumble the Gruyere, you fool! You serve that in slices or risk being a total failure.
The meat. Very important.
Get up early. Go to the butcher the day of the cookout.
Order whole prime chuck ground with 13% sirloin fat added by weight.
Back home, the patties formed will be 8 ounces each, two inches thick.
Beatrice de Gea / Los Angeles Times FIRE IT UP: Silverton tops patties, made of beef with at least 20% to 28% fat, with crumbled chunks of blue cheese, left, and cheddar. "With lean meat," she says, "the burgers don't hold together." Regular salt? No way. Kosher salt. The result?
Béatrice de Géa / Los Angeles Times
TOP THIS: The hamburger according to Silverton stars fat-enriched, coarse-ground prime chuck that's seasoned generously and handled gently.
Feeling inadequate?
Silverton does throw a helluva party.
But you'll probably never have her over anyway.
It's easy and wrong to overdo it and be too creative with a burger. Silverton, one could argue, also overdoes it. But she overdoes it in so many really goooooooooood ways.
The perfect burger?
What's been the recurring theme here?
No.
There is no such creation as the perfect burger.
But Silverton comes pretty darn close.
To read previous Culinary no-no’s, please click CULINARY NO-NO under my TAGS section.
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By Kevin Fischer
Thursday, Jul 17 2008, 05:20 AM
Culinary no-no?
On Thursday?
What’s goin’ on, Fischer?
I’ll tell ya what’s goin’ on.
News updates wait for no weekend.
Culinary no-no #54 …….of course you remember it like it was yesterday, but it really was in May…..focused on a new law in New York City that would begin in July whereby certain restaurants must post the number of calories for each item on their menu boards or face fines beginning. Food police in the form of pencil-pushing inspectors are going to burst into restaurants, clipboards and cameras in hand, handing out citations. These government hacks will not be smiling and will demonstrate quite clearly that they’ve never heard of Emily Post or Dale Carnegie.
Well guess what?
It’s July!
The law is now in effect.
How are hard-nosed New Yorkers reacting?
Let’s find out.
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Jul 13 2008, 09:30 AM
WARNING! WARNING!
DANGER! DANGER!
This could very well be the worst, most disgusting of the more than 60 Culinary no-no’s I’ve posted.
You are hereby forewarned.
If you continue beyond this point, I am not responsible for any nausea or immediate loss of appetite that might ensue.
This week’s culinary no-no definitely falls under the category of regional cuisine. There are some variations to the recipe depending on where it’s served.
Let’s start with our neighbor to the south, Illinois. The Illinois version uses……..
WARNING! WARNING!
DANGER! DANGER!
This is your final warning, your last chance to turn back.
The Illinois version uses canned spinach, baked beans, tomato paste, margarine, applesauce, bread crumbs, and garlic powder, and mixes them all together until what’s described as a thick paste is formed.
In Vermont, raisins and nondairy cheese are added to the Illinois recipe.
In California, there’s some ground beef, chopped cabbage, diced carrots, cubed potatoes, and whole wheat flour.
All of the ingredients, once molded and folded together are placed in a loafpan and baked.
Here’s what the finished Illinois version looks like....
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Served in some vegan restaurants, this fare is actually far more common in penal institutons where it's called Nutraloaf, or sometimes simply, "the loaf." Nutraloaf is given to certain prisoners when they act up as a form of behavior modification. That’s doublespeak for punishment. One of the prisoners punished was Samuel LeMaire who filed a lawsuit. LeMaire was served Nutraloaf after he slit a man's throat before going to state prison and attacked his prison guards and fellow prisoners with sharpened poles, human waste, and a homemade knife inside prison. The inmate argued that having to eat Nutraloaf constituted cruel and unusual punishment. A lower court agreed but a higher court did not.
Nutraloaf is intended to be finger food, served on a single sheet of paper without utensils.
Nutraloaf, a product from the cafeteria of the Chittenden Regional Correctional Facility, is presented by an inmate in South Burlington, Vermont. Nutraloaf is made of whole wheat bread, non-dairy cheese, raw carrots, spinach, seedless raisins, beans, vegetable oil, tomato paste, powdered milk and dehydrated potato flakes. (Photo Credit: Associated Press/Andy Duback)
LeMaire’s 1992 lawsuit isn’t the first or the last to be filed. Inmates have been complaining since the late 70’s about Nutraloaf, and a case involving Vermont prisoners is the most recent to go to court. Oral arguments were heard in March and a decision is expected by the end of the year.
Watch this video about the Vermont case.
Neil Cavuto of FOX News got this man-on the street......well, actually, it's more like "woman on the street" reaction to Nutraloaf.
And finally, one lawyer serves up Nutraloaf........ at a dinner party. This article also contains more on the legal issues involved.
In and of itself, Nutraloaf is at the top of the list of Culinary no-no's. But when served to unruly, violent prisoners, I have no problem.
To read previous Culinary no-no’s, please click CULINARY NO-NO under my TAGS section.
(SPECIAL NOTE: The inclusion of bikini-clad women in this week's edition was entirely unintentional. It just worked out that way)
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Jul 6 2008, 09:30 AM
Let’s face it.
Men are pigs.
Truly, as a group, they’re slobs. Most men could never dress themselves properly to save their lives (The sport coat-wrinkled shirt-blue jeans- sneakers combo is a perfect example).
This guy, however, is a gentleman.
Recognize him?
That’s Bum Phillips. Phillips coached the old Houston Oilers from 1975-1980 and also had a coaching stint with the New Orleans Saints. Sports fans would know him almost immediately from that photo. Take another look at it, then look at this photo:
Now this one....
Notice any difference between the two?
In this one, Phillips is wearing his trademark cowboy hat....
In this picture, he's sans hat....
Why?
In the picture of the game against the Bears where Phillips is shaking hands with Walter Payton, the game was played at Chicago's Soldier Field........outside.
In the other picture, the game was played at the Oilers' home stadium, the Houston Astrodome.......inside.
Someone once asked the folksy Phillips why he never wore his cowboy hat inside domed stadiums. Phillips replied that his mama taught him it was never polite to wear a hat indoors.
If only that sentiment were alive today.
There's an epidemic in society today and it's only getting worse: men wearing hats indoors, especially in restaurants. And it's not just in McDonald's or Culver's. Men are refusing to take their hats off in restaurants of all kinds.
You see it everywhere. Men of all ages, young and ancient, inside dining establishments, hats firmly placed on heads. The hat of choice is generally some rag-tag baseball cap.
My wife and I recently ate at Bar Louie at Bayshore. Bar Louie isn’t Sanford’s by any means but it’s not the Dew Drop Inn either. I swear I was in the minority. Most of the men in the place were wearing hats.
I’m reminded of a story a woman once told me about a first date. Excited about the evening, she dressed to the nines with fur coat, dress, high heels. Her escort showed up in shirt and jeans and some less than average coat. And let’s not forget, the very stylish baseball cap! Or at least he thought it was because he wore it throughout their entire elegant dinner.
Does my blood boil when I see these Neanderthals in restaurants looking foolish? No, it doesn’t. I don’t go screaming for the manager and I certainly don’t ask anybody to remove any clothing. My meals are never ruined because of a slob sitting next to me.
So what’s the beef? Simply that it’s bad manners. It’s wrong. The larger issue is that over the years, society has lost its grooming and etiquette skills, becoming uncivil.
DrDaveandDee.com is a free advice site. Dr. Dave is an MD, and Dr. Dee is a Ph.D. They answer questions on health, medicine, relationships, families, etiquette, manners, and fashion tips. On the subject at hand, Dr. Dave and Dr. Dee received the following;
Dear Dr. Dave and Dr. Dee,
Is it proper to keep your hat on in a casual restaurant?
Signed,
Hats Off to You
Dear Hats Off,
Assuming that you are asking about casual hats such as baseball caps, then the following applies: Although commonly seen in casual restaurants, it's really not proper etiquette to keep one's hat on when eating. Some etiquette experts advise taking off a hat when eating outdoors, too.
Here’s more.
So guys, use your manners. Make mom proud. Take the stupid hat off, not just in restaurants, but anyplace indoors.
And while we’re on this subject, it wouldn’t hurt to dress up a little when you go out, either.
To read previous Culinary no-no’s, please click CULINARY NO-NO under my TAGS section.
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Jun 29 2008, 09:18 AM
Dining at the visually stunning Tchoup Chop Restaurant run by Emeril Lagasse at the Universal Royal Pacific Resort in Orlando a few years ago, my wife and I both marveled at the Asian fusion cuisine. In one entrée, Emeril took mouth watering Kalua pork and mingled it into an amazing chow mein that my wife, Jennifer did share a bite or two.
Back home, Jennifer and I watched Emeril Live on the Food Network as Emeril re-created the dish on television. Not one who’s intimidated by cooking, Jennifer happily agreed to tackle this dish for us in the Fischer kitchen.
Take a look at the recipe’s ingredients from the Food Network website:
2 teaspoons paprika
1 teaspoon cayenne
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon black and white sesame seeds
Pinch ground 5-spice blend
Pinch ground nori (ground seaweed)
3/4 teaspoon Hawaiian salt
1 1/2 pounds pork shoulder roast (Boston butt or picnic roast), at room temperature
1 tablespoon oyster sauce
8 ounces fresh or dried Chinese egg noodles
3 tablespoons peanut oil
3 tablespoons chopped green onions
1 tablespoon minced ginger
2 teaspoons minced garlic
1/2 cup thinly sliced yellow onions
1/2 cup julienned bok choy
1/2 cup julienned carrots
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1/2 cup mung bean sprouts
1 cup chicken stock
The highlighted items were especially difficult to find, another common element on cooking shows. Those marquee chefs assume the average cook can easily get their hands on all these exotic ingredients. I don’t know where Emeril shops, but the truth is, Pick ‘n’ Save doesn’t carry ground seaweed.
The website claimed the recipe’s prep time was 10 minutes. Jennifer’s was 30 minutes.
While the final product was fantastic, it took several days to find all that was needed for the recipe. And it wasn’t cheap to prepare, costing close to $100.
It’s not just Emeril. It’s every chef on television.
Of course they make everything look effortless. They have an army of help wearing chef coats and aprons off-camera. Not often do the on-camera chefs spell out actual preparation time and the exact ingredients and amounts needed, and never do they discuss what it will actually cost to concoct, “Asian Spiced-Pan Roasted Moulard Duck Breast in a Chili Sapporo Beer Broth with Oyster Mushrooms and Udon Noodles.”
That’s on the broadcast end. Move over to the print side.
Sara Dickerman has written about food for the New York Times Magazine, Food and Wine, Bon Appetit, and Seattle magazine. In a recent piece on slate.com, Dickerman says there’s a problem with her kind, the hedonistic food press:
“Turn to the food section of your city paper and you'll learn where to spend $120 a pound on jamón ibérico or where to taste a flight of pricy olive oils,” Dickerman writes.
“As an industry, we rhapsodize about la cucina povera—that is, ‘poor food’ like polenta, beans, and braise-worthy cuts of meat like short-ribs and pigs trotters—but we rarely talk about cooking in terms of dollars and cents. When food writers and producers advocate economy, they're usually talking about time—churning out recipes for fast, easy, everyday weeknight meals that can be prepared in minutes. The dollar-savvy recipe is far less common. Why, even as the economic news turns grim, is it so unusual for the food media to take cost into account?”
Dickerman offers reasons in her slate.com piece, including the perception that cooks in the home are Emeril wanna-be’s, and the food press feels the obligation to push advertisers’ products.
She raises an interesting issue. Food inflation is the worst it’s been in decades. Would it hurt the food press to be even more informational by including an extra line or two about pricing?
The same holds true for TV chefs. Graham Kerr, the Galloping Gourmet’s longtime shtick was to, with bold ink, itemize the cost of meals he prepared.
I’m not suggesting Emeril or Wolfgang or anybody else dumb down their offerings to pedestrian, economic swill. But take the current state of affairs at the supermarket. Combine that with the great interest the public still has for making and eating fine food. Isn’t the cost an important piece of the story you’re trying to tell?
To read previous Culinary no-no’s, please click CULINARY NO-NO under my TAGS section.
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Jun 22 2008, 03:46 PM
This is the fish fry served at American Serb Hall, quite possibly the most popular fish fry in all of Wisconsin.
Photo: Jack Orton, Milwaukee Journal/Sentinel, 2003
The Serb Hall fish fry costs $14.95. That is a rip-off and a major culinary no-no. Friday’s Milwaukee Journal/Sentinel carried a story about the predicament restaurant owners are finding themselves in. The rising cost of food caused by the ridiculous ethanol craze has restaurateurs debating whether to raise fish fry prices or keep them where they are to prevent losing customers.
The paper reported, “Serb Hall management is asking customers to swallow a nearly 60% price increase, from $9.50 to $14.95 for the standard fish fry.”
Quoted in the article is my good friend, Larry Meyer who runs Meyer’s Restaurant and Bar in Greenfield.
Regarding the 60% price increase at Serb Hall, Meyer said, ““I give them credit for being gutsy.”
I call it stunning.
A fish fry on a Friday night at Serb Hall is one of Milwaukee’s most storied traditions.
The fish dinner is good. Many would say very good.
I submit it’s not even close to being the best, making the pole vault in price from $9.50 to $14.95 about a month ago highway robbery.
In February 2007, then-Journal/Sentinel restaurant critic Dennis Getto wrote a piece rating the best fish fries. Getto gave the best fish fries a rating a four fish and the next best three and half fish. This weekend, I checked the restaurants rated by Getto as the best of the best to see if they too had no other choice but to raise the price of a standard fish fry to $14.95.
Here are those restaurants followed by the current price of their fish fries:
Four fish
Wegner's St. Martins Inn, 11318 W. St. Martins Road, Franklin
$9.25
Kegel's Inn, 5901 W. National Ave., West Milwaukee
$9.95
Karl Ratzsch's Restaurant, 320 E. Mason St
$13.95 beer battered
$15.95 broiled
Three-and-a half fish
Ron's Cozy Corner, N54-W35994 W. Lake Drive, Oconomowoc
$7.95
Polonez, 4016 S. Packard Ave., St. Francis
$9.75
Erv's Mug, 130 W. Ryan Road, Oak Creek
$7.95
Carleton Grange, 3807 S. Packard Ave., St. Francis
$10.95
Tanner-Paull American Legion Post, 6922 W. Orchard St., West Allis
$9.50
Bavarian Inn, 700 W. Lexington Ave., Glendale
$11.50
$14.00 all you can eat
Beerbelly's, 512 W. Layton Ave.
$7.25
The Country Squire Supper Club, S72-W16373 Janesville Road, Muskego
$11.95
It seems other restaurants, faced with the same increase in food prices as Serb Hall chose not to increase their prices by nearly 60%. In fact, they’ve stayed virtually unchanged since Getto’s February 2007 article.
Also, if someone, including Serb Hall management wants to argue that their $14.95 fish fry is ultimately superior in quality to the fish fries mentioned by Getto (He did not include Serb Hall), it’s going to fall on deaf ears.
Some of the fish fries that are close to Serb Hall’s $14.95 price tag, like Karl Ratzsch's serve the same generous portion, in a Sprecher beer batter and includes yummy potato pancakes. And there’s atmosphere along with live music.
Bartolotta’s Catering at Boerner Botanical Gardens has a fish fry that runs from November to just before summer when the fish fries are bumped by Friday night wedding’s and wedding rehearsal dinners.
Bartolotta’s charges $14.95 for their beer battered version. But they also include the best salad bar that goes on and on and on. And there’s atmosphere along with live music.
The atmosphere at Serb Hall where you’re herded in and out like cattle?
Here’s a photo of the room from roadfood.com that describes the “atmosphere” this way: “Cozy it’s not.”
 Serb Hall reportedly serves over 1,000 fish fries every week. Couldn’t they have raised the price of beverages or other items that clearly could have made up for the increase in fish and food prices the management claims it just couldn’t handle?
Other managers are, at least for the moment, rejecting increases that could kill their biggest night of the week and are switching to other styles of fish.
Serb Hall is taking the huge risk of losing customers by jacking up the price, not by .50, or one dollar, or two dollars, but by $5.45.
They’re not the best or the only game in town.
What once was the $9.50 fish fry at Serb Hall is now a big, fat, deep-fried culinary no-no.
NOTE: Kegel's Inn, rated with four fish by Getto in his 2007 article, is no longer in business.
To read previous Culinary no-no’s, please click CULINARY NO-NO under my TAGS section.
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Jun 15 2008, 08:41 AM
One year ago on Father’s Day, I wrote a blog about brats.
I think it’s wrong to put ketchup on the sausages.
Clever devil that I am, I called the blog a Culinary no-no.
My plans were to write a few related blogs over the summer and then pull the plug.
After all, how many blogs can you come up with that say you shouldn’t salt this or use a heavy cream on that?
But then the blog evolved, and for reasons I can’t explain, became popular. Real popular. It’s one of my most –viewed blogs, making the top five or close to it every week. I've written 58 Culinary no-no's since last summer.
On this Father’s Day and one-year anniversary of Culinary no-no, here’s the blog that started it all, numero uno.
I also went back and checked for the Culinary no-no that was the most popular.
Here it is.
A brand new edition of Culinary no-no will be here next week.
Enjoy the day in the backyard grilling, Dad’s, but no ketchup on those brats!
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By Kevin Fischer
Sunday, Jun 8 2008, 07:47 PM
When it comes to culinary no-no’s, this guy could provide several every week.
His name is Andrew Zimmern. He’s the host of Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern on the Travel Channel.
Just as the title of the program conveys, he eats strange, weird foods. Like bugs and insects and other creepy critters.
Take a look, but just so you know, this video isn’t offensive, but it does raise the “yuck” factor to an extremely high level.
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How executives at the Travel Channel could sit around a conference table and think this kind of programming is high quality boggles the mind.
Zimmern could probably convince Janet Raloff the junk he wolfs down every week is not only delicious, but good for you. Raloff writes for Science News, and in a recent column, “Insects (The original white meat)” has documented that many people eat bugs, all kinds of bugs, and that bugs are pretty darn healthy.
Did you know, for example that, as Raloff writes, “Food and Drug Administration’s actual rules allow up to 60 insect fragments on average in a composite of six 100-gram chocolate samples. For peanut butter, it’s OK to have up to 30 insect pieces per 100 grams.”
But the FDA won’t approve drugs that could be beneficial in fighting 694 ailments. Imagine that. But that’s another blog.
Certain bugs in some places are as popular as Big Mac’s and Whopper’s.
Raloff writes, “Youngsters in central Africa may down ants or grubs while at play. Urbane snack-seeking consumers throng street vendors throughout Southeast Asia to buy fried crickets. Even car-driving Aborigines in Australia’s outback may motor a couple of hours to find, and then picnic on, a cache of honey ants. Residents of at least 113 nations eat bugs, says Julieta Ramos-Elorduy of the National Autonomous University of Mexico in Mexico City:”
Doesn’t that give you the heebie-jeebies?
It shouldn’t, because eating bugs, or entomophagy if you want the scientific term, is claimed to be very nutritious.
One expert quoted by Raloff who has started his own company that supplies frozen and dried insects to chefs says you’d be crazy to eat lobster because those crustaceans eat trash compared to the salad bar diet of insects.
And we’re not talking a solitary bug or two here, folks. We’re talking lots and lots and lots of insects on the menu.
In Mexico, 1,700 species of insects are devoured. That’s the equivalent of about 60 Baskin-Robbins’.
Go to any 5-star restaurant in Mexico, and some insect is on the menu….every day!
In Africa, worms are highly sought after.
And again, we’re reminded, like the old Life commercial ..................
that eating bugs and insects is……….
well………
a really good thing.
A team formed by food scientist Francis O. Orech of the University of Maryland Eastern Shore in Princess Anne found, according to Raloff at Science News that, “Crickets contained more than 1,550 milligrams of iron, 25 milligrams of zinc and 340 milligrams of calcium per 100 grams of dry tissue."
Convinced yet?
I mean, think about it. We’ve got food experts from all around the world claiming that if you’d only down more bugs, you’d be singing like Julie Andrews in “Mary Poppins.” (Work with me, guys. You know the song. I just didn’t want to spell it).
Ahhhhhhhh.
But like the PUBLIC school teacher who sends his/her child/children to PRIVATE schools, we learn that these food experts don ‘t practice what they preach.
Take Sandra G.F. Bukkens, an independent nutrition consultant based in Barcelona, Spain. Raloff quotes her as saying, “Overall, I was pleasantly surprised. Insects were far more healthy than I expected.” But Raloff adds:
Despite this upbeat assessment, Bukkens isn’t pushing insects on her family. “I’ve eaten them, but I’m not particularly keen about them,” she says. If food were limited, she would “eat anything. But since we have plenty of meat in developed countries, I don’t see why we should switch to insects.”
I’ll give Raloff credit. She does admit the painfully obvious duo of reasons why convincing a vast number of Americans and Europeans to dive into a plate full of bug larvae is next to impossible: concern about hygiene, and the way the damn things look.
I don’t care how many eggheads Raloff or anybody else interviews or how many bugs Andrew Zimmern swallows on the Travel Channel…………..
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Beef.
It’s what’s for dinner.
Here is the entire Science News article written by Raloff.
To read previous Culinary no-no’s, please click CULINARY NO-NO under my TAGS section.
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